My girlfriend continue to insists on seeing her exes

Dear ABBY: My girlfriend is the loveliest, smartest, most compassionate and supportive particular person I know. We have been with each other for a yr and a fifty percent. When we very first fulfilled, we hung out a couple times. When I advised her my emotions toward her, she responded that she was in an open up marriage, so I backed absent. 

Months later on, we fulfilled up all over again. I served her with a carpentry task, and she claimed she was carried out with the open up romantic relationship stuff and desired a monogamous partnership. I agreed. We have a caring, supportive romantic relationship that usually means the environment to me. 

Various ex-boyfriends contact her and want to hang out, and she wants that, much too. What bothers me is worrying the exes’ intentions could not be good, still she feeds into it and tells me I require to have confidence in her. I battle with jealousy, anger and distrust when this comes about, and I have shared those emotions with her, but she just cannot permit these folks shift on. She suggests I’m thieving her freedom and controlling her by asking her to dismiss them. This is the largest difficulty in our marriage, but everything else is good. Are my emotions improper? — INSECURE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

Expensive INSECURE: Your feelings are not “wrong.” Your feelings are your emotions. In some cases there is sacrifice concerned when we kind new relationships. Your girlfriend may have several great traits, but if she just can’t recognize that you experience these former lovers are a threat to your relationship, alternatively than attempt to “control her,” realize she isn’t the lady for you. Sorry!

Expensive ABBY: I have developed a number of serious well being conditions that won’t get superior. I am at large chance for respiratory illnesses. Even a popular chilly can have a really serious influence on my everyday living. My loved ones just doesn’t get it. My partner does not comprehend my circumstance and my requires. His social daily life places me at threat, nonetheless he proceeds to attend large gatherings and activities these types of as live shows. I have experienced COVID 2 times, and avoiding hospitalization is vital. I’m currently on oxygen and will be until finally I die. 

There are spots I would like to stop by, and items I would like to do though I nonetheless can. But my spouse balks, specially if his strategies need to have to be modified. I cannot do these issues or vacation without the need of support. I Require him now. With each “not now” and “we will see,” I increase ever more pissed off and depressed. What can I do? — BUCKET Listing IN KANSAS

Pricey BUCKET List: Realize the person you married is egocentric and self-centered. “Not now” and “we will see” mean NO. (What a guy!) His refusal should not suggest you mustn’t take pleasure in the things to do you aspiration about. You may possibly, having said that, have to become creative and organize for someone other than your husband to accompany you. He may not like it, but please contemplate it.

Expensive Abby is created by Abigail Van Buren, also recognized as Jeanne Phillips, and was launched by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Make contact with Pricey Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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