Dear ABBY: A fantastic mate of 20 years has been homeless for a number of months. Soon after a small stint of being in several Airbnbs, she is now largely living in her motor vehicle. She has a very good-excellent, Free of charge living alternative offered to her. But it would require her to shift five hours away, and she doesn’t want to leave her position listed here. In the meantime, I have a visitor room. 

Given that dealing with homelessness, my close friend has stayed with me and my spouse and children on three various events, each time for about a week. But it is not a sustainable or prolonged-expression alternative. Extensive story shorter, we never want a roommate. 

The very last time she stayed with us, my good friend turned down an reasonably priced dwelling problem with a roommate mainly because the household was far too “gross” for her. I found it aggravating. Housing in our spot is highly-priced, and she will work part-time at most. Her converse of getting much more do the job has absent nowhere so significantly. 

I know I shouldn’t consider on her difficulties as my very own. But it is difficult to surprise about my friend’s basic safety, where by she’s showering, charging her cellular phone, maintaining her food items cold, and so on., while my visitor bed room sits vacant. Am I improper not to open up up my residence to her indefinitely? I experience like she’s a person car lease payment absent from sleeping less than a bridge. On the other hand, she has possibilities she’s refusing to choose. What does a excellent mate do in this circumstance? — Lucky IN OREGON

Pricey Privileged: If a single is sensible, she lets her close friend dwell the daily life she has selected (in her car) without the need of intervening more. As variety as you are, you are not able to rescue anyone who is unwilling to assist herself.

Dear ABBY: My youngest son married and moved throughout the country to the West Coastline. They did this since his wife is extremely controlling — her mother lives there and she pressured him into it. They then had a few young children, who, simply because we are living on the East Coastline, we regrettably seldom see. 

My son is now owning serious marital troubles because his spouse and mom-in-law have teamed up in opposition to him immediately after his father-in-law died from COVID. He wishes to leave his wife and return to his family right here, but won’t do it due to the fact of the young children. He’s at his wits’ end and does not know what to do. Any recommendations? — SADDENED IN NEW JERSEY

Dear SADDENED: Suggest your son that he ought to focus on his problem with an attorney who specializes in spouse and children law and a accredited psychotherapist to assist him by means of this difficult time period. If he separates from his wife and mother-in-legislation, he could continue to be in the vicinity of the youngsters and concerned in their lives without having currently being double-teamed, which really should carry him some reduction. Soon after you have instructed this, action again and permit your son work his way by way of this. Be supportive from a length and stay out of the line of fire.

Dear Abby is penned by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was launched by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Speak to Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.