Dear ABBY: I have been courting “Paul” for a number of decades. He life about an hour absent, and we see just about every other a handful of weekends a thirty day period. I know he enjoys me. A handful of months ago, his dog quickly died from cancer. It was traumatic simply because “Bruiser” was his ideal friend. 

Paul has been distinct due to the fact Bruiser’s demise. He has zero desire in anything at all actual physical. To me, touch is significant — not just sex. There is shared intimacy in keeping someone’s hand or kissing. I experience like a plant that is wilting with no sunlight. I know Paul is battling, but I really do not know how to support him by means of. We talked about it when, but other than acknowledging he’s having difficulties, he has performed very little more. 

I never want to force the challenge, but time is valuable. I know what it’s like to wrestle with despair, and I understand the symptoms, but he will not get support. How can I guidance him via this and get above my selfishness? — IN THE Dark IN NEW YORK

Pricey IN THE Dim: Notify Paul you know he is hurting because due to the fact Bruiser’s loss of life, his behavior has adjusted. Clarify that he may be frustrated — and with very good cause — and that it may well assistance him to get hold of his veterinarian and request if there are grief support groups for pet house owners who have dropped their furry loved ones member. His vet could be able to advise one particular or a lot more. Nonetheless, if that doesn’t attractiveness to Paul, he should think about chatting to his doctor mainly because he is exhibiting some vintage indicators of depression. Right after that, the ball’s in his court docket.

Dear ABBY: I am one particular of nine small children who all continue to get alongside. A person sibling belongs to a religious buy. At least just one (for confident) is not a Christian. One is a born-yet again Christian. 1 of us is homosexual and married. We are not all of the exact political persuasion. Nevertheless someway, following all these yrs, we have managed to get together and nevertheless gather for loved ones enjoyable, regardless of whether it is a holiday getaway or just a cookout. We never all dwell in the identical point out, but a lot more normally than not, most of us are there. 

There is no magic formula to us nevertheless loving as very well as liking every other. We simply respect every single other’s opinions and realize that while we don’t often agree, it’s not well worth chopping out of our life another person we have identified “forever.” I just can’t imagine getting rid of even just one sibling above a foolish disagreement. Which is not to say we haven’t had arguments, due to the fact we have undoubtedly had our share, but we simply get the high road and agree to disagree. I really like my siblings with all my coronary heart. Just needed to share an uplifting be aware with you. — NO Complications Below

Expensive NO Troubles: Most of the mail I obtain issues associations that fractured due to the fact of a lack of regard for someone’s inner thoughts. Thank you for your, frankly, refreshing letter. If much more persons emulated your family’s case in point, this earth would be a happier, significantly less challenging location in which to are living. I wish your perspective were being contagious.

Dear Abby is created by Abigail Van Buren, also acknowledged as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Get hold of Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.