Pricey ABBY: My father-in-regulation and I are just lower from different cloth. We are political opposites, while we do get together for the most element. On a spouse and children vacation (we were browsing them), we had been going out for meal. My spouse and I knew he was going to choose us to a cafe we both of those have moral problems with. I handed him a 10% off coupon for a various close by cafe and said, “Here’s a further possibility for evening meal.”
When he responded that he thought we’d go to the very first place, I explained, “Sorry. I have some moral troubles with it and won’t take in there. Is there someplace else we can go?” He then blew up at me, indicating issues like, “If you are not spending, what difference does it make?” and “Since you’re our visitor, it is rude of you to refuse.” My wife agreed that he was out of line. What do you feel? Was it impolite of us as their visitors? Or rude of him as a host to not accommodate us? — NOT Heading THERE IN NEBRASKA
Pricey NOT Likely: You have a loyal and loving spouse. However, a additional genuine and fewer biased husband or wife would have pointed out (privately) that your manners were being atrocious. A gracious visitor accepts the hospitality offered by their host somewhat than seeking to change the celebration into a demonstration of terminate culture. You owe your father-in-regulation an apology.
Pricey ABBY: My husband and I are retired and are each handling individual cancer diagnoses. This tends to make our finances tricky to forecast in the occasion 1 of us needs high-priced medication. We did a very good career preserving for retirement and live comfortably.
Our adult daughter contracted Lyme disease 10 yrs back and turned really ill. She endured decades of painful solutions — which had been not included by insurance plan — for the duration of which time her husband divorced her. We stepped in to help with her professional medical costs. Even though the Lyme is no lengthier detectable in her system, some of the signs have never absolutely long gone away. Now she’s going through additional tests on the lookout at a hormone imbalance.
My husband is offended that we are nevertheless shelling out some of her healthcare expenses. (She operates, has insurance policy and pays for what she can.) We can pay for to assist her, and I really don’t understand why her father doesn’t want to enable her any longer. We’ve argued about this numerous situations above the years, and I’m frustrated with the problem. I’m not prepared to give up on her like so lots of other folks have. What can I say to him the future time he confronts me about paying out her professional medical bills? — DEVOTED IN OREGON
Expensive DEVOTED: It may perhaps be time to end arguing with your spouse about this. Your adult daughter works and has health care coverage. You and your partner are both medically fragile. While I understand your wish to shield your daughter, you must not be supplementing her revenue if it threatens your obtain to the prescription drugs you may need in the long term.
Dear Abby is published by Abigail Van Buren, also recognised as Jeanne Phillips, and was started by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Call Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.