I pulled my autistic son’s hair and I feel like an awful guardian


When Caleb was a minor boy, his mom was abusive.

“My dad was not close to a great deal, rarely ever noticed him. And my mother, owing to my autistic traits, would occasionally phone me a ‘f—king idiot fantastic for nothing at all,” he mentioned in a Reddit put up.

“So I wanted to be a very good dad or mum to my son.”

But no parent is perfect. Even if they assure on their own they will be, that is no warranty they won’t do something they regret.

Caleb’s write-up browse like a confession. His autistic son, who is largely non-verbal, experienced performed a poo and made a mess in the toilet.

“It obtained all about the toilet, shower curtain, rug and bathtub. I imagine he might have been making an attempt to clean up up just after he messed himself.”


A parent confessed on Reddit after a stressful incident ended with him pulling his mostly non-verbal autistic son's hair.
A father or mother confessed on Reddit right after a tense incident finished with him pulling his largely non-verbal autistic son’s (not pictured) hair.
Getty Visuals/iStockphoto

Caleb faced the mess with admirable calm, reminding his son that poo needed to go in the toilet, and asking him if he comprehended.

“I tried using not to be also tricky on him, but this was one of the major messes he’s ever finished.”

Dad normally takes to Reddit to confess

“After cleaning up a little bit, I experienced to sit him on the bathroom and informed him to ‘finish in the potty if you require to make a lot more poo.’”

He did not require to, but the 10-calendar year-outdated wasn’t leaning forward far plenty of to be wiped, so Caleb grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled.

“It was a mild pull.

“He did not even appear bothered by it, did not cry or rub his head as if it hurt.”

But that didn’t cease Caleb emotion terrible. As he washed his son off in the shower, he apologized.

“I claimed, ‘I’m so sorry I pulled your hair. I should not have accomplished that. I’m sorry, I love you.’ He then repeated, ‘I love you.’”

Even nevertheless it appeared like he was forgiven by his son, Caleb could not forgive himself.

He looked to the Reddit neighborhood for a sounding board, but additional that if any person thought he was an awful father or mother, he’d agree.

Reddit supports autistic father

The community flooded the feedback with support, telling Caleb he really should forgive himself.

“Also autistic,” mentioned a single particular person. “Shit takes place (ha!) and we all make errors, specially when we’re stressed and fatigued. You are heading by way of parenting on challenging method, and it’s only organic that your tolerance is going to be analyzed on a normal basis. This is the Very first time this has happened. You are not your mom.”

“This made me want to cry,” stated yet another human being. “Although I do not have the similar worries or perspective, you audio like you are doing your best and that you are a truly fantastic particular person and dad or mum. Be sure to forgive you.”

“This created me tear up,” a 3rd man or woman wrote. “I am also a guardian of an autistic son and it is so goddamn difficult often. You are not an dreadful mother or father, an dreadful mother or father would experience no guilt or disgrace. You are just under an tremendous quantity of stress and you deserve to forgive your self.”



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